reinitialize.
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reinitializing in process.
i let myself take over.
dependence on self took root in the very way i think without me realising it.
it was tough when God was uprooting it on saturday. i struggled n held on. but when i decided to let it go, it was even tougher. But the Holy Spirit never fails. God never fails.
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sat's sermon was on obedience. service started off with a healing session thing. Give thanks for all the miracles. Even for the healing of my cough. though it gotten worse 2day. maybe due to my lack of faith.
thought i already knew bout obedience. Pride blinded me. till Bro RX was preaching that obedience was bout 100% obeying Him.
n i knew exactly why i stand. the many times when i questioned, obeyed with intention of testing God, obeying half-heartedly.
haiz.
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time to go back. things didnt feel like the same before. not as close.
but u do know wat u should do to get close to me again rite?
time to surrender all over again.
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went for bbss band concert on friday. mind was wondering. saw some of my ex-students. smiles. reminder of happy times when i was teaching. interacting with people, with children.
children with simple desires and thoughts. no evil, no plotting, no hidden agendas.
a past i cannot go back to.
if only i can speak freely and be myself freely around other people like i did with them.
or shouldnt i be like this all the time? irregardless of who is around me?
or am i too adversely affected by others?
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reinitialize.
reinitialize.
reinitialize.