reinitialize.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Lesson #1 - 161206

rushing back to boon lay 4 the bus to book in. just came out of cell grp outing. didnt want to take a taxi so i prayed. God told me real clear i had to rush to the bus stop. The 174 was coming. i missed it in the end. see the bus passs me by when i was just less than 50m away from the bus stop.

i guess its easier to doubt than to have faith in wat God says. i just cant believe that God really provided that 174. i had to doubt, consider other options lke taxis, obey in part n NOT listen to him. Struck me back there how detailed God can be in giving instructions n answering prayer.

But y was i praying as if He wont answer my prayer? Whyam i asking but not expecting to believe? perhaps its my reluctance to depend on the impossible again. is this preventing me from releasing God's blessings in my life? My lack of faith in God's power? My nearsightedness in not hearing wat God is going to promise me?

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Lesson #2 - 161206 (continued)

i am ashamed Lord. intense sadness at how much u care yet i distrusted You. i am of little faith. i tested u again, n yes, i am wrong again, Took 157 since i missed the 174 earlier on. Was thinking if i could transfer to 180. God siad He will provide. He did. Right after i dropped off to transfer. such that i will not be late for the bus, just like how i prayed. And i didnt believe again. i went through the same processes in my mind about options, wat ifs, hows.

closely listening and obeying n not straying.

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Lesson #3 - 231206

wavered. waiting for 174 at sixth avenue. quite long a wait. getting worried if the bus gonna come. asked God n He said He will provide. waited some more and i got worried. my faith wavered. just as i couldnt take it n headed over to the info panel to check the bus frequency timing, a 174 bus sped past my bus stop. it all sounded so familiar. wasnt anry or anything. just felt that its was God. i prayed n i lost faith n off to relying on myself again, getting assurance from a bus stop info panel instead of praying to God.

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Lesson #4 - 241206 (continued)

asked again for another 174. He answered that He will provide again. den suddenly He asked me to board a 66 that came. puzzled i was, i obeyed. though 66 cant get me home. but i figured i could change to a 180 as God seemed to tell me. But by the way the bus was speeding, i knew something was wrong. it was not just a 66, but a 66 God has instructed me to board 4 a reasion as i slowly realised.

by the time i reached bukit batok central, the speeding 174, which i missed earlier n was 3-5 mins ahead of the 66, was just in front of the 66 i was on. :O

den suddenly God gave me the chance to judge 4 myself when will the 174 stop at a bus stop and be overtaken by the 66 i was on. i couldnt take it anymore. i decided its best 4 God be in control.
n just after He showed me again the bus stop to get off, which was the same one He told me when i just boarded the 66, the 174 stopped at a bus stop and 66 overtook it.

wat more can i say. ended up in the 174 and right b4 i was to decide if i wanna take 242 or 99, God told me 99.

doubted again even as i got off. it was already 0035+. where will the 99 come from? what if it doesnt come?

99 appears far off n i was silenced.

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the odds are impossible in it being concidental. no way can the same things happen 4 times or more and everytime i can catch up to a bus or drop off just to get on to another bus just at the right time. there is no way. and i am talking bout schedules of 3 buses or more being lined up perfectly such tat at specific stops i can 'seamlessly' transfer from one to another with 1-2 mins waiting time in between. impossible.

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it is imposible. but 4 God it is not. Thats y He is the one i worship n put my hope in.

zhenYang
1:32 am